Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Boondock Saints (1999)

very interesting movie...has 'different' written all over it. a feel good movie in a primal sense of the term; triumph over evil couldn't have been more literally potrayed than in The Boondock Saints.A movie that would have definitely done wonders at the box office with a more powerful cast. William dafoe starts out shakily, but one comes to terms with his character soon and then on its smooth sailing...the fraternal siblings, who are the joint heroes of the film come across as a fresh interpretation for heroism...no overtly hyper display of emotions, yet clinically effective.

a crisp movie with a crisp plot...good watch!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

second guessing

For a writer, being able to second guess his reader must be very gratifying. Its like telling the females who are reading this,

"i know the use of only 'his' in the previous sentence jarred in u'r mind for a second".

Or something like telling the male readers,

"relax, i'm not as good as you. fine?"

Ok, i need to go. catch u later.
did i hear "good riddance"? or was it "god! u'r a dunce". lol

Monday, September 04, 2006

an impromptu story

Its abt 15 minutes before midnight. Under the moonlight, the wastelands of chennai look just the same...filthy, smelly and outright unhygenic. "its heaven here" says big bob. Big bob is head of security and the right hand of Mos Q Toe, otherwise known as 'The Toe'. 'The Toe' heads the most notorious swarm that the city of chennai has ever seen and for that he is both dreaded and respected by one and all. He's 12 days old and dying. The eldest of his 500 son's Toe jr. 1 is being trained to take over the reigns once the godfather resigns to nature's laws. But for now, he is the law.

At the stroke of midnight, 3 black sedans pull up at the entrance of the wasteland. on Big bob's cue, a swarm of security-mosquitoes approach the vehicles. armed with anthrax tipped stings and nitrous oxide boosters on their wings, Big bob's army is not one to be messed with. well aware of that, the 3 gentlemen step out slowly from their cars, arms raised. the swarm leads them into the interiors of the wasteland. As the men look around the place, they see that the wasteland is a fully functional civilization of mosquitoes. Being midnight, most of them have gone for work, but they could notice the training camps 'abuzz' with activity. young mosquitoes were being taught the anatomy of the human body.

a sudden silence drains the atmosphere as they near the godfather's haunt. The 3 men find him relaxing in his favorite cesspool. The stench was unbearable for the men, but they had no choice. business is business. To aid eye to eye talk, a truck windscreen from the adjacent junkyard has been installed in between the 2 parties to magnify the godfather. A discarded loudspeaker placed beside him will help the men hear his words. the men are offered the comfort of the best dumpsters in the whole of the wasteland and in true spirit of the godfather's hospitality served the best bloods in town, freshly sucked from leading movie actresses in chennai. the godfather's personal favourite is J Jayalalitha though. "if the body ain't healthy, the blood ain't too" drawls the revered Don. Can't agree more with his taste then.

courtesies done, the group gets down to business. the 3 men do not seem to be happy and that has only partly to do with big bob's swarm buzzing around their ears. the major reason is that their business deal with the don is not going as per the book.
the 3 men represent the CMRMC. thats Consortium of mosquito repellent manufacturers in Chennai. the men report that the CMRMC is not happy with the rate of execution of the deal. The godfather is surprised and draws the men's attention to the article in the day's edition of the Hindu. it says amongst other things

"Residents spend anything between Rs. 15 crore and Rs. 20 crore every month, buying mosquito repellents such as coils, mats, sprays and ointments, according to an industry estimate."

"doesn't this satisfy you gentlemen", growls the don while sipping on his drink. He may be frail, but one command of his can send thousands of his winged soldiers on a stinging spree and you and i know how painful just one can be. so if the men's hearts skipped a beat, it wasn't for nothing. one of them manages to draw some courage to present their case.

"godfather, the sales are not as good as they appear on paper. they've been inflated to keep our stock prices stable. In reality we're not exceeding the expected sales as per our deal with you. The agreement was that your soldiers would torment different parts of the city in a phased manner so that residents in those localities stock up on our products. Ofcourse, except for the physical products, our chemical products have been carefully designed so as to not harm your kind. For the martyrs and for your suicide squads which lend credence to our chemical products, however, we agreed to compensate with a lifetime supply of blood and onsite opportunities to the USA. From our side of the bargain, we agreed to make sure that your thriving places are kept intact. We are making sure through our connections that the drains remain clogged throughout the year, the garbage disposal system never gets its act together and whatever else we can. Everything is working fine except for one hitch"

"which is", asks the godfather not so pleased. his experience and his intuition, which brought him upto where he is now guessed that something was amiss. he is not happy

"Godfather, your rival gang on the outskirts of the city limits is trying to foil our plans. they have plans to launch sting operations on the concerned authorities in the corporation. If they succeed in their plans, the corporation bigwigs, out of sheer pain from mosquito bites may decide to eradicate your gang and that would spell doom for both our parties. Something needs to be done Godfather."

1 day before, in the CMRMC boardroom, the board of directors are involved in a discussion on stagnant sales.

Mr. Ramammurthy, chairman of the board speaks, " Its time now to launch our backup plan. we'll send across our envoy to Don Toe and then lets see how things shape up. Mr. shastry, i hope you have briefed our men on the plan....Good, so we'll have our next meeting precisely 24 hrs from now. thank you gentlemen."

the don is thinking. Its been a while since tony's gang has started causing us pain. If i continue to tolerate their enroachment into my domain, it might be harmful for our future.

"i'll take care of that then", says the don.

"may we know how godfather"

"i'll make them an offer they cannot refuse", declares the don.

without much further ado, the men are escorted back to their sedans and they speed off, happy to be out of there alive.

In the don's cesspool, he summons his trusted lieutenants and instructs them on his plans.

in the Hindu, next morning:

"Mosquito menace spreads as the tambaram area saw an unprecedented surge in the no: of mosquitoes overnight. Affected residents claim that they saw unnatural behaviour what with mosquitoes preferring to hover around rather than bite people. they also observed unnaturally high sound levels in the mosquitoes and many reported having seen abnormally big ones. The corporation advices the citizens to take adequate precautionary measures. Scientists say that this unnatural behavious may be attributed to the dip in pressure in the pacific ocean over the Hawaii Islands in USA. We are not sure of that though."

Meanwhile in the CMRMC boardroom, Mr Ramamurthy, "gentlemen, i'm proud to announce that our backup plan has been a roaring, or should i say "buzzing" (laughs out loud while drawing double quotes in the air using his fingers ) success. reports from my marketing managers suggest a 20% increase in our sales since y'day night. That is indeed a job well done. congratulations to all"

In the Don's den, Big Bob enters the don's retiring cesspool. the don's slept through the morning. Age is catching up say the mosquitoes.

Bob kisses one of the don's numerous legs and says, "godfather, your plans have been carried out to perfection. Tony's gang has been wiped out from Tambaram and that area is also under your reign now. Our foot soldiers duly investigated the locality and there seems to be lot of good blood to be taken"

"well done Bob. I knew i could trust you with this", whimpers the Don and goes back to his sleep. Bob nods in acknowledgement and flies away gently so as to not disturb the Don.



This is the inside story of the corporate-mosquito nexus that is responsible for chennai city's woes. It has been around for many months now and it is high time that the wasteland is cleared of the don's gang. We can clearly see why thats not happening. CMRMC should not be allowed to get away with this.


"HA HA HA HA HA...HA HA HA HA HA. and he thought he could get all this published", bellows Mr. Ramamurthy. "Good work James, this journalist could have brought us a lot of damage. Dump his body neatly in the wasteland. Let it be my personal gift to the Don..HA HA HA HA HA....(burns the report)