male or female??

this is in view of the recent disqualification of Indian athlete Shanti Sounderajan(25), after she failed a gender test at the Asian Games 2006 at Doha. Shanti who won the 800m silver medal is to return them

gender test

the above link is a scientific approach to the process of gender testing.

It is interesting to note that she passed a similar test at the Asian Athletics Championships in Incheon City, South Korea, last year.

- is this a case of foul play on the player's part?
- is this a case of a biological aberration?
- is this a case of inconclusive testing?

whats happening?

its all happening

i was casually channel surfing when i came across an interview of tanushree dutta. she was waxing eloquent on internet policing and the proliferation of morphed sleaze pics et al. through repetitive nonsense, she was amply demonstrating her general lack of knowledge when without any cue she starts talking about her career. things like , " even if i get a fresh chance to start my career, i'd like to start it the same way with 'ashiq banaya aapne' and 'chocolate'." she was lauding the experience and exposure she got in the 2 movies. i agree on the 'exposure' part of it. then for no reason she starts delving into matters of the skin and soon there's this expression on her face which says "damn! what am i saying?" before she knows it she's talking about intimate scenes and on screen love making. she hilariously concludes it by saying that she is now experienced and so will be able to handle such requirements if she's not comfy with them. on thing's for sure. she can't give interviews

my roomie is telling me about this nice restaurant near the National Games Village (NGV) called Mast Kalandar. He tells me that the food is very good. Try it out. More interestingly, he tells me that its started by the wives of 2 wiproites. Does that say a thing or 2 abt the payscales in wipro? jus kidding :)

One of the news channels was having a debate on who's the world's greatest cricketer, now that shane warne is in the limelight with his retirement and for his haul of 700 test wikets. There was this guy who was hell bent on tarnishing Don bradman's image to promote shane warne as the greatest. I wonder if shane warne got too drunk once while in India after watching brokeback mountain?

on public demand, i'm also posting about the accident i had today. but hush!! no one tells my mom. i was banged from behind by a maruti omni when the traffic signal went green. i got thrown off the bike and lay spread eagled at the centre of pbbly the busiest signal in blore :)...escaped with very minr bruises. however, the icing on the cake was when after i'd moved over to the side, the traffic cop comes to me and asks, " are u allright? shall i let him go" and i magnanimously reply, " yeah, its ok". ha!!

when i became a bakra...

I, have been, made, a BAKRA!!! poor, unsuspecting, honest, goodfearing me has been duped by a dastardly act of devious deception by thy dilapidated room mate ( that word associates so well with you varun :P) I was ensnared by an enigmatic and effervescent Kruti Mathur. But,..but, ultimately i was so boring throughout, that i came out trumps. It seems my nemesis got tired of my ghisi-piti replies and called it quits. But i must hand it to him for the spade work. Its almost flattering!!

So we had this Kruti Mathur, Romania brought up, globetrotting daughter of a business diplomat who lives in a mansion in Bangalore with her own gym and swimming pool. And with all that, she hits on me. Only a fool would fall for that! I did

Once, as a bakra, i have been exposed to the perils lurking in this world. All ye kruti mathurs out there will have to be henceforth subjected to severe scrutiny. Oh! how cumbersome and boring is that!!. balls!! why can't life be simple and sunny?

yaake?????

Damn!! I'm falling asleep right in the morning at office. help!! As part of my fitness drive, I'm doing some kickass swimming in a pool nearby. I go early morning and splash about for about an hour. I return home, get ready for office and reach by about 9:30. A decently heavy breakfast follows and am in my seat by 10:00 with my morning cuppa. Within minutes of finishing it, my eyes are drooping shut. Where am i going wrong. I get ample sleep in the night, no concerns there. If anyone has any insight on this, do advise.

Sleepy in Symbol

I've had a particularly heavy lunch and am falling asleep at my desk here. A session of TT did not help and this particular song from 'guru' is definitely not helping. Its a nice song, but not to be fed to a sleepy mind. I've read that food activates the digestive process. Is it part of the body's energy conservation mechanism, that it simultaneously tries to shut down the brain? Most people as a habit have an afternoon nap. How do they manage during working days at office?

I hear Dhoom-2 is a pathetic movie. I expected such a verdict for Don, but not for this. sad!! with such a cast, the movie should have done better. Unfortunately, the producer and director too felt that way and didn't bother about things like script and screenplay. I'm being a son-of-a-gun here by judging from the covers, but i think i can trust my friends when it comes to bollywood.

On another flank, Indian Cricket has successfully proclaimed Greg Chappel as the scapegoat for all conceivable issues plaguing the team. Note my use of the words 'Indian Cricket'. Yes, its not about the team or the BCCI. In India, many advise and many listen, nobody acts and the remaining, like me criticize. It seems, Ganguly is going to pad up now to counter the domineering Chappel. I have a confusion here. Which game are we talking about?

Walmart plans to set shop in India. I'm reminded of a particular South Park episode which was a good take on Walmart. South Park is a great series. Its taught me so many things. For example i didn't know apriori that 'turd' means shit. The spoof on Walmart was, on a serious note, a little scary. I therefore, read in detail about this news. Some news article enlightened me that when Walmart 'takes over' a particular neighbourhood, it calls upon all the small shop owners and trains them on "how to stay afloat inspite of Walmart" and also allows them to advertise for free in Walmart outlets. Now how condescending is that?

good...i think i've successfully fought my urge to sleep. Time to get back to work :)

CAT 2006...the fiasco continues

Now for the other side of the coin. CAT 2006 had 1 wrong question in quants and printing mistakes in one or two sets. A question in verbal is also purportedly wrong. This is not excusable. It was a godsend that i didn't have the set with the printing mistakes and i chose not to attempt the erroneous question, but what of the thousands who did. It was a couplet worth 8 marks and anyone who attempted it would have gone over it again and again on not finding the answer in the options. He/she could have spent close to 10 minutes on it for nothing. When 1.91 lakh students compete for 1200 odd seats, 10 minutes/8 marks is very very BIG!! It is indeed shameful that the IIM's CAT cell cannot set one error free question paper over a period of 1 year. The worst part of this fiasco is that, there is no judicious way in which this error can be compensated/rectified. Marks cannot be awarded to students who attempted the question. Many of those who got stuck with the question would ultimately chose to not attempt it in fear of losing a mark. They can't award 8 marks to all as it doesn't make any difference in an eliminative exam.

As a friend suggested, and i agree with him totally, the IIMs should increase the no: of GD/interview calls to include those students who would otherwise miss out because of this question. Of course, it won't bring justice to all, but its a fair thing to do.

Also, and this is very doable, there should be a new option given to the student to deal with erroneous questions. If a student feels that a question is wrong, he/she should be given the option to indicate that in his/her OMR sheet. Shading all the options for a question can be taken as an indication that the student has referred this question to be wrong. If, indeed it turns out to be wrong, full marks should be awarded to that student. However, if it is a valid question, he shouldn't be penalized for the same. A penalty for the same will again act as a deterrent and keep students from marking a question as wrong.

This, however, could create a scenario where a student choses to mark all the questions that are not attempted by him as wrong since he's not penalized for that.
To prevent that, a ceiling can be imposed on the number of questions that can be marked wrong...maybe 5. We can at least trust the IIMs to not have more than 5 questions wrong. If a student marks more, only the first five will be considered. Can't see any other loop hole at first sight. It seems pretty practical to me. What do u think?

CAT 06

CAT is such a leveller. Just till a few minutes ago, my entire life was passing in front of my eyes like a flashback...that was after i realised i'd screwed my chances, based on the answer key broughtout by PT. ..now i'm much better...almost my normal self, after checking with the Career Launcher answer key. there is hope, good hope, i dare say.

Drop in a prayer for me if u can. thanx :)

The British Psyche and the Ashes

This is an obituary that appeared in the Sporting Times, an English newspaper on 2nd sept, 1882. Interesting as it appears, it was responsible for the test cricket series between England and Australia being named,...... The Ashes.

What i find more noteworthy here, though, is the tremendous capacity of the English to mock at themselves. I cannot dream of such an article appearing in any Indian Newspaper.

The above mentioned obituary was reported after England lost the deciding test of the series by a mere 7 runs. It was the 9th series between the 2 countries and the defeat heralded the first defeat of England at the hands of Australia, in England. Archives of the test say that the spectators went into a state of shock when the last English batsman got bowled after making just 2 runs. When he had come in to bat, England needed just 9 runs to win the match and the series. Mind you, England had not lost to Australia before and an English win was the order of the day.
the spectators went numb but recovered slowly to give the victorious Australian team, a standing ovation. A very impressive and sporty gesture, given the magnitude of the loss for the English

It all started with an friendly argument in my house over what comprises the ashes. I was stubbornly set on the bails while my friend was backing the stump. As my reading brings to light, the contents of the ashes urn is still a mystery. The contenders currently are, bails ( i'm still in), stumps( you're in too Ashish) and the outer skin of the used ball. Another source suggests it to be the ashes from a burnt veil, which is very weird. To droll on, the urn made its first appearance after England won the 3rd test of the series, the following year. the urn is preserved permanently in the MCC museum and is not awarded to the winners each year, as maybe wrongly assumed.

Operation Citizen Alert

The more i hear about Mumbai, the more i'm impressed by the city. Operation Citizen Alert (OCA)comes as yet another reinforcement of my belief that Mumbai is one professional citzenry. OCA is an ad campaign brought out by Grey on behalf of the Mumbai Railway Police. As part of the campaign 1 Rupee coins are left randomly at public places such that they catch the eye of passing people. When picked up the coins will be found to have a sticker on them which would read

"If you are as alert to unattended baggage, lives can be saved".

This is a brilliant campaign. The message really hits one, as he/she is caught in the act. With the only requirement being Re 1 coins and stickers, this is easily one of the most cost-effective campaigns in a long long time. Moreover, Grey worldwide has reportedly donated the coins for this campaign.

The RBI deemed it "a contempt of currency" reportedly, but this response does raise a valid question. Should this campaign be seen as a defilement of the 1 Re coin? Personally, I don't think so. As a one off campaign, there shouldn't be any concerns. But it would be a different story if the multitude of advertisers take this cue and bring out similar campaigns. Its probably in anticipation of that, this reaction from the RBI

To come back to where i started, i am really impressed by the modern outlook of the Mumbai Railway Police. It is very rare to see such innovative campaigns associated with the public sector.

I've heard so much good about the people of Mumbai...the 6 sigma certified dabbawallahs...to the minute precise local trains....no nonsense professionalism of the public....the undying spirit demonstrated through the flood and blasts....Great city!!

Rocky Balboa ( Rocky VI)

Rocky VI is slated to release in the third week of December '06. The sixth edition of this blockbuster series comes as a very pleasant surprise. That Sylvester Stallone plays the lead in the movie might raise eyebrows, but the movie trailor will convincingly dispel all doubts. He looks as fit as ever and age seems to have added an aura to his personality.

As far as the story goes, Rocky Balboa, is leading a peaceful retired life running a deli in his native, Philadelhpia. The love for boxing ceases to leave and he is drawn out of retirement by a one match challenge with the current world champion. Its the typical Rocky theme, but what is interesting here is that Rocky Balboa is an old man. At 50 odd years, what's in favour of him is his experience and his trademark "undying spirit" that made him what he is - the champion. How he works that to his advantage or if he does at all, will be soul of the movie.

Stallone writes the script and does the Direction too for this sequel. Reviews from a premiere held 2 months back, suggest two moving speeches by Rocky during the course of the movie. I don't know much about the new soundtrack, but the old one is still there and that in itself is more than enough. "Eye of the Tiger" is one helluva song

This is one movie I'm gonna lookout for!!!

oh! i'd been tagged

This tagging business never really did strike a chord with me. But a boring day at office can make a lot of unexpected things happen. Firstly i'd like some expert opinion on the previous sentence. which is the best? "never did really ", "never really did" "did never really"l..i'll spare the 3 factorial (ahem!!) combinations

What exactly brings me here now, is the fact that i had been tagged about 4 months back. This means, i now need to post on the same topic viz - a list of my hates.

For the record, i'm a very calm person. I just murder a few people now and then, when i lose it. But otherwise, yeah, i'm a saint.

My hates:

1)Fart-artists : You just can't tell them anything new. They'd invariably come out with a 'been there done that' response. Earlier i used to make it a point to crucify them. Offlate i jus let them be. After all, it takes all kinds.

2)Pedestrians in b'lore : they deem it a colossal waste of time to look both ways before crossing a road. If they're a group of friends, they'd not even hear the honks

3)tHiS sOrT oF wRiTiNg StyLE !!!

4)there is this particular flavour of ego that gets on my nerves. the afflicted, in this case, deliberately defies your suggestions as if to affirm - 'who's the boss'!! weirdos!!

5)i'm a tidyness freak. I like everything to have a place and be there when not in use. A good percentage of people aren't so.

6)i don't like this tagging business.Period

P.S If i use the word 'period' at the end of a sentence, i should ideally omit the '.' symbol. shouldn't I? should I?

Landmark Quiz '06, Bangalore

was a very neatly conducted affair. The ambience was perfect, Chowdiah Memorial hall being a very beautiful auditorium. The audience was very receptive and enthusiastic. IT was interesting to observe the mix of people. We had families with newly borns, school kids, senior citizens, corporate quizzers...an encouraging audience for any Quizmaster. Not that Derek O'brien needs any. Sometimes i wonder if he's more a quizmaster or an entertainer. After seeing him at the Brand Equity Quiz, i was a little skeptic when i came to know that he is going to be the quizmaster here too. But fortunately, his sexual innuendo's and PJ's were at a minimum y'day. Infact some of the questions in the final were pretty good too. The elims were decent at most with some outrageous questions like

Q) which is the largest milk producing country in the world?
Q) which is the Landmark site to purchase books? ( the ans was printed on the brochure given to each team + displayed on a banner extending from the ceiling to the floor on the stage...well lit stage)

Understandable coz the Landmark Quiz is primarily a school level quiz made difficult because everyone participates.

The finals, however, had some good questions and some great teams. I especially remember a guy named Anushtub (i guess) who got crowned the best quizzer in b'lore after a solitaire between the finalists. He was just too good. They however lost the lead in the last 2 questions of the quiz, to be upstaged by a team from Chennai which had earlier won the Chennai leg of this quiz. This team from Chennai did exceptionally well to tide over a solid 25 point deficit in the last round of the quiz to emerge emphatic winners. Great comeback!!

Some of the good questions...

Q) a connect question based on 2 pictures..one of Harrison Ford and the other featuring few sheep in a meadow and an android in the centre.
Ans: Bladerunner, the movie - the 2nd picture is the cover of the book " Do androids dream of electric sheep by Philip Dick" which was the inspiration for the movie Bladerunner. Harrison Ford played lead role in the movie.

Q) a connect again with a picture of dilip kumar and one of Manoj Kumar and the song "mera naam hai shabnam" being played in the background
Ans: the character played by Dilip Kumar in the movie 'Shabnam' was named Manoj Kumar and Manoj Kumar took his screen name from this movie.

Q) another connect..audio of the Star spangled banner + video of a duet dance from a movie.
Ans: Scott Fitzgerald. the star spangled banner played by Jimi Hendrix in the played piece was written by a scott fitzgerald. the video was from the movie "the great gatsby" which was written by F Scott Fitzgerald. same name, unrelated people..that was the connection. brilliantly answered by one of the teams

Q) this question is connected to a british sport and refers to the largest animal conservation efforts by a govt. the animal in question is the Harvest mice. What did they do?
Ans: they spread out thousands of broken tennis balls from wimbeldon on a ground and used them to breed harvest mice, which were becoming endangered

Q) what is the difference between sushi and sashimi?
Ans: sushi is raw fish with rice, while sashimi is raw fish alone

Q) what was carried in compartment no: 2949 of a train to triveni in india on Feb 12?
Ans...a giveway clue would be the yr..1948. answer is Mahatma Gandhi's ashes

Q) which element is responsible for blue colouration in diamonds?
Ans Boron

Q)which flower is named after a French General
Ans Bouganvilla (not sure abt the General bit and the spelling of the flower)

Q)which famous indian changed his name to Kareem Abdul
Ans Kishore Kumar after marriage to Madhubala

Q)what is Unique about a canoe race held in the Andamans by the name "asol tale aap"
Ans the only canoe race in the world on sand

this is my newfound hobby. to hunt down blogspot posers from user profiles and puke on them. here's the first one..

"You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape."

i'll wring the goat's neck, probably use the slinky as an aid coz it doesn't figure otherwise in my scheme of things. Once the goat is dead, i'll tear it open and bring out its 'stuff'. Next, i'll throw each part out of the well in a different direction. aah..the slinky might be of some help here...see! its all part of a bigger plan. on foresight, i'd do good to keep the eyeballs and some liver. tht done, i'll jus wait for the stench to draw people. In the meantime i'll rehearse a nice opening line when the first head peeps into the well. something like, "got a smoke?"

pot pourri

"tad ada dan" - got yet another dose of the movie 'Masti' while travelling on a bus from Cochin to B'lore. Whats with the travel operators-Masti distributors nexus? Interestingly i've started watching this movie 3 times before, all while on a bus, but never watched till the end.

"tad ada dan" - this time around it was a KSRTC(Karnataka) Volvo. Lots of interesting features on this one. They have seat belts for every seat. They give you small water bottles. They also give a white polythene to every passenger to cope with motion sickness. Now thats Tender loving care!!!

"tad ada dan" - got introduced to muveemix; an interesting site where u can mix videos and pictures to create interesting outputs. Its still in the development stage, but looks promising. the interface is pretty neat. I created a muvee-mix myself. check it out

caveat: absolutely random selection of videos.



till next time, take care and make sure u don't have to pull out u'r hair :)

A Volvo's martyrdom

this is an outburst on my part. a few hours back, a bad accident happened on airport road, bangalore, involving a volvo bus. Current reports suggest that 6 people died in the mishap. It also mentions that an irate mob that gathered at the spot, burnt the bus. This is extremely disgustful. With all due respect to the departed souls, why the hell does the bus have to be burnt? Goddammit, kill the erring driver if u have the guts, you illiterate, uncivilized bastards!! If the people died, its because of him, not the bus. If he too hasn't died in the accident, make sure he is incapable of ever controlling a steering wheel again, provided he is guilty.

Its frustration. thats what it is. Not one in the mob cares for the people who died. They in all probability are the losers who have nothing going right in their life and honestly think that the govt is fully to blame. They're just looking for avenues to vent out their angst. What better way than this?

The bus has no value when compared to the lives that were lost today ofcos, but does burning it justify anything or mean anything? These have been procurred at great cost for the convenience of the people, especially to encourage them to use public transport and thereby reduce traffic woes. Each of these volvo buses that you see on the roads easily costs above Rs 70 lakh. The money that went up in flames today would have been enuf to support the families of the dead for a long long time.

There's this other angle too to this. That of bangloreans being outnumbered by the influx of people from other states and the feeling that these 'outsiders' are usurping their homeland. IT being the biggest attraction in the city, software engineers are venomously branded 'outsider'. Thus anything that has to do with a higher standard of living gets associated with them and thereby a source of discontentment. The volvo buses are seen in the same light.

It doesn't stop here. It never will. One day there will be an implosion. God forbid that, amen.

Spit-o-mania

Geoff boycott said it right when he commented on Flintoff spitting on the grass. The match between India and England was a foregone conclusion soon itself; after the first few overs of india's batting. So it seemed to be a good time to delve into social issues..er..well spitting IS pollution!!

Its a common perception in india that the world is my spittoon and spitting indiscriminately is my birthright. Now combine that with another popular habit, namely chewing 'paan' (chewing the betel leaf along with tobacco)and you have a population, which to an outsider, seems to be suffering from a tuberculosis epidemic!!

Its a risky thing to walk/drive alongside a bus coz u never know when and from where that mass of spit will land on you. Its as if humans are competing with the birds at air bombing the earthlings.

Then you have this heroic connotation to spitting. Yes, if u see the hero of the film spit sideways, while looking at the villian from the corner of his eye, you can be rest assured that the bad guy is a goner.

And don't forget, Jack wooed Rose in Titanic by demonstrating his ability to spit to great distances.

All said and done, it is one of the most disgusting habits to be associated with a civilized population. ah did i say civilized? guess then we can be forgiven outright.

I don't see anyway to stop this. When peeing and pooping in public remain rampant, spitting hardly warrants a second thought. But!...thats something the human body has to do. What i fail to understand is the need for people to spit every now and then.

"Hey Geoff, join the club"

Hero Honda CBZ Extreme

I decided to check out this bike's specs seeing the huge amount of interest it has generated with 'pricey' ad campaigns ( pretty neat i'd say). Also, CBZ being among the avant garde of powerful street bikes, CBZ Extreme definitely warrants a look up. so here we go



Firstly the looks. A disappointment, i'd say, as it looks more or less like the Apache or as a good friend pointed out, Karizma, with its front bracket cover removed. It looks good just like its competitors do, not refreshingly good!!

Specs reveal the bike to be heavier than the pulsar(137Kgs) by 6Kgs at 143 Kgs (kerb weight) The CBZ as such was bigger than the pulsar, but was lighter, at 130 Kgs. With the CBZ Extreme, we're talking an increase of over 10 Kgs!! Handling woes, I predict.

Of course its more powerful than the pulsar 150, but less than the 180(14.4, 13.5 & 16.5 BHp in that order) and significantly more than the 12.6 BHp of the CBZ, which is expected, with the increased weight.

How its AMI (Advanced Microprocess Ignition) compares with the DTSI, time will tell. An Advantage with respect to looks is the stock alloy wheels for both the tyres(absent in the CBZ and the unicorn). the rear tyre comes with a stock tuff up tube as well. The petrol tank capacity is slightly lesser than that of the pulsar, but that hardly matters.

The CBZ was never known for its mileage. With no snazzy looks and a significantly heavier frame, mileage will be the clincher for this bike. It looks like it'll position itself between the 150 and 180 pulsar.

train of thought

today morning i went to book some railway tickets. I had quite a few to book, 6 to be precise (which i like to be :P) I entered the reservation centre within Koramangala BDA complex, went straight to the counter, got hold of a small stack of reservation forms and took my place in the queue. The sitting queues here are a welcome respite from those in allahabad (where i did my engg.), where one has to gamble on a particular queue and stand till his/her turn in blistering heat or numbing cold, the only options in allahabad. Lets not get into the more sordid details. Here in B'lore, however,u can sit down comfortably in a row of chairs and drag u'r arse (literally) to the next seat as the queue progresses. So that automatcally takes care of the cleaning. (:P) I reckon there were about 15 people ahead of me, which, i calculated, would give me enough time to fill up all the forms by the time it was my turn. Unfortunately ( Ironically), the guys behind the counter were pretty fast today and i stood facing a reservation clerk with one form fully filled, one almost filled and the remaining untouched. I gave him the finsished one and completed the other in the nick of time. I noticed some irritation but didn't think much of it and thought he wouldn't think much of the fact that i din't think much of it( he he...i know!!). Alas, he did and started blasting me for not having my forms filled up before pressing my sorry face against the perspex separating us. ahem! i still didn't think as much, nevertheless, said sorry and attempted to give him a barely completed third form. Nothin doing, he makes clear and i trudge back to the end of the queue ( very small luckily). I fill it up quickly and replay the incident in my mind while periodically sweeping the seat with thee arse towards the front of the queue. I could have been angry/rude to him then, which is what most people do. I didn't and opted to placate him. Obviously it didn't work. Now i can be rude when i face him again, coz technically he's got nothing to complain this time round. That was what my instinct had decided for me. I proposed to my mind to think more spiritually.

Ultimately my turn came and i went up to him, stuck my nose on the perspex, slipped in the remaining forms and said,

"sorry Sir, twas my mistake"

I looked upwards from the corner of my eye after saying so, at an imaginary thought bubble in which i could see ice breaking and his smiling face emerging into the foreground. It remained a virtuality. (mean bastard!!) He just took the forms and booked the tickets, maybe with a teeny (bordering on my imagination's tricks and reality) weeny bit of gentleness. Oh well! i thought, paid him and left the scene. while walking towards the parking lot, i chuckled at my new train of thought. My imagination had cooked up another possibility. While he was going about booking my tickets the second time, seeing that he's not pleased even by my submissive apology,i'd subtly ask him, "having a bad day at work?" he'd stop typing on the keyboard, stare at me for a second and burst out crying, "my wife left me y'day night for my neighbour"

:P

The Boondock Saints (1999)

very interesting movie...has 'different' written all over it. a feel good movie in a primal sense of the term; triumph over evil couldn't have been more literally potrayed than in The Boondock Saints.A movie that would have definitely done wonders at the box office with a more powerful cast. William dafoe starts out shakily, but one comes to terms with his character soon and then on its smooth sailing...the fraternal siblings, who are the joint heroes of the film come across as a fresh interpretation for heroism...no overtly hyper display of emotions, yet clinically effective.

a crisp movie with a crisp plot...good watch!

second guessing

For a writer, being able to second guess his reader must be very gratifying. Its like telling the females who are reading this,

"i know the use of only 'his' in the previous sentence jarred in u'r mind for a second".

Or something like telling the male readers,

"relax, i'm not as good as you. fine?"

Ok, i need to go. catch u later.
did i hear "good riddance"? or was it "god! u'r a dunce". lol

an impromptu story

Its abt 15 minutes before midnight. Under the moonlight, the wastelands of chennai look just the same...filthy, smelly and outright unhygenic. "its heaven here" says big bob. Big bob is head of security and the right hand of Mos Q Toe, otherwise known as 'The Toe'. 'The Toe' heads the most notorious swarm that the city of chennai has ever seen and for that he is both dreaded and respected by one and all. He's 12 days old and dying. The eldest of his 500 son's Toe jr. 1 is being trained to take over the reigns once the godfather resigns to nature's laws. But for now, he is the law.

At the stroke of midnight, 3 black sedans pull up at the entrance of the wasteland. on Big bob's cue, a swarm of security-mosquitoes approach the vehicles. armed with anthrax tipped stings and nitrous oxide boosters on their wings, Big bob's army is not one to be messed with. well aware of that, the 3 gentlemen step out slowly from their cars, arms raised. the swarm leads them into the interiors of the wasteland. As the men look around the place, they see that the wasteland is a fully functional civilization of mosquitoes. Being midnight, most of them have gone for work, but they could notice the training camps 'abuzz' with activity. young mosquitoes were being taught the anatomy of the human body.

a sudden silence drains the atmosphere as they near the godfather's haunt. The 3 men find him relaxing in his favorite cesspool. The stench was unbearable for the men, but they had no choice. business is business. To aid eye to eye talk, a truck windscreen from the adjacent junkyard has been installed in between the 2 parties to magnify the godfather. A discarded loudspeaker placed beside him will help the men hear his words. the men are offered the comfort of the best dumpsters in the whole of the wasteland and in true spirit of the godfather's hospitality served the best bloods in town, freshly sucked from leading movie actresses in chennai. the godfather's personal favourite is J Jayalalitha though. "if the body ain't healthy, the blood ain't too" drawls the revered Don. Can't agree more with his taste then.

courtesies done, the group gets down to business. the 3 men do not seem to be happy and that has only partly to do with big bob's swarm buzzing around their ears. the major reason is that their business deal with the don is not going as per the book.
the 3 men represent the CMRMC. thats Consortium of mosquito repellent manufacturers in Chennai. the men report that the CMRMC is not happy with the rate of execution of the deal. The godfather is surprised and draws the men's attention to the article in the day's edition of the Hindu. it says amongst other things

"Residents spend anything between Rs. 15 crore and Rs. 20 crore every month, buying mosquito repellents such as coils, mats, sprays and ointments, according to an industry estimate."

"doesn't this satisfy you gentlemen", growls the don while sipping on his drink. He may be frail, but one command of his can send thousands of his winged soldiers on a stinging spree and you and i know how painful just one can be. so if the men's hearts skipped a beat, it wasn't for nothing. one of them manages to draw some courage to present their case.

"godfather, the sales are not as good as they appear on paper. they've been inflated to keep our stock prices stable. In reality we're not exceeding the expected sales as per our deal with you. The agreement was that your soldiers would torment different parts of the city in a phased manner so that residents in those localities stock up on our products. Ofcourse, except for the physical products, our chemical products have been carefully designed so as to not harm your kind. For the martyrs and for your suicide squads which lend credence to our chemical products, however, we agreed to compensate with a lifetime supply of blood and onsite opportunities to the USA. From our side of the bargain, we agreed to make sure that your thriving places are kept intact. We are making sure through our connections that the drains remain clogged throughout the year, the garbage disposal system never gets its act together and whatever else we can. Everything is working fine except for one hitch"

"which is", asks the godfather not so pleased. his experience and his intuition, which brought him upto where he is now guessed that something was amiss. he is not happy

"Godfather, your rival gang on the outskirts of the city limits is trying to foil our plans. they have plans to launch sting operations on the concerned authorities in the corporation. If they succeed in their plans, the corporation bigwigs, out of sheer pain from mosquito bites may decide to eradicate your gang and that would spell doom for both our parties. Something needs to be done Godfather."

1 day before, in the CMRMC boardroom, the board of directors are involved in a discussion on stagnant sales.

Mr. Ramammurthy, chairman of the board speaks, " Its time now to launch our backup plan. we'll send across our envoy to Don Toe and then lets see how things shape up. Mr. shastry, i hope you have briefed our men on the plan....Good, so we'll have our next meeting precisely 24 hrs from now. thank you gentlemen."

the don is thinking. Its been a while since tony's gang has started causing us pain. If i continue to tolerate their enroachment into my domain, it might be harmful for our future.

"i'll take care of that then", says the don.

"may we know how godfather"

"i'll make them an offer they cannot refuse", declares the don.

without much further ado, the men are escorted back to their sedans and they speed off, happy to be out of there alive.

In the don's cesspool, he summons his trusted lieutenants and instructs them on his plans.

in the Hindu, next morning:

"Mosquito menace spreads as the tambaram area saw an unprecedented surge in the no: of mosquitoes overnight. Affected residents claim that they saw unnatural behaviour what with mosquitoes preferring to hover around rather than bite people. they also observed unnaturally high sound levels in the mosquitoes and many reported having seen abnormally big ones. The corporation advices the citizens to take adequate precautionary measures. Scientists say that this unnatural behavious may be attributed to the dip in pressure in the pacific ocean over the Hawaii Islands in USA. We are not sure of that though."

Meanwhile in the CMRMC boardroom, Mr Ramamurthy, "gentlemen, i'm proud to announce that our backup plan has been a roaring, or should i say "buzzing" (laughs out loud while drawing double quotes in the air using his fingers ) success. reports from my marketing managers suggest a 20% increase in our sales since y'day night. That is indeed a job well done. congratulations to all"

In the Don's den, Big Bob enters the don's retiring cesspool. the don's slept through the morning. Age is catching up say the mosquitoes.

Bob kisses one of the don's numerous legs and says, "godfather, your plans have been carried out to perfection. Tony's gang has been wiped out from Tambaram and that area is also under your reign now. Our foot soldiers duly investigated the locality and there seems to be lot of good blood to be taken"

"well done Bob. I knew i could trust you with this", whimpers the Don and goes back to his sleep. Bob nods in acknowledgement and flies away gently so as to not disturb the Don.



This is the inside story of the corporate-mosquito nexus that is responsible for chennai city's woes. It has been around for many months now and it is high time that the wasteland is cleared of the don's gang. We can clearly see why thats not happening. CMRMC should not be allowed to get away with this.


"HA HA HA HA HA...HA HA HA HA HA. and he thought he could get all this published", bellows Mr. Ramamurthy. "Good work James, this journalist could have brought us a lot of damage. Dump his body neatly in the wasteland. Let it be my personal gift to the Don..HA HA HA HA HA....(burns the report)

food for thought...literally

majority of the people do not have value for food. they waste food without thought and think its the normal thing to do. So many people, put on their plates, much more than that they think can consume and shamelessly waste the rest. If i could have my way, i'd keep such people starving for a day, all the while with the food that they wasted earlier in their sight but not within their reach. that'll teach them the value of that half-paratha that they left on their plates, those extra slices of bread that they discarded and so on.

I see the amount of leftovers that accumulates at the place where we all deposit our plates, after lunch at the cafeteria. i'm sure the quantity from a single session would be sufficient to feed 20-30 people. for people who do waste food like this, just imagine that a starved family is staring at you while you are depositing your plates. If you have even an iota of conscience, you will surely feel a pang in u'r heart.

Please order only that much food that you can consume. If u end up with a lot of extra food on u'r plate, its not a state of helplessness, but a state of guilt. its your fault which u have to make amends for. Do whatever it takes. get it parcelled and give it to a beggar on the roadside. You'll get his blessings at least.

dilbert blog

i just discovered a brilliant blog to read and have a good laugh. its authored by scott 'dilbert' adams . His sense of humour is spot on. i love his perspective of the world around him. hope i can write like him. check out his blog here

Need For Speed Carbon

Need for speed carbon is releasing on Nov 1st. can't wait to get my hands on it. NFS 10, as per the trailor looks to be a re-tryst with drift after the success of NFS underground. From what i hear, the story is in continuation from most wanted and is set in the hero's hometown, which incidentally happens to be in the mountains...so get ready for some treacherous tracks and minblowing drift opportunities, but careful...the way its designed this time, if you crash into the barrier, it gives way, hurtling you down the slopes into shame..so drive safe..hyok hyok!! jokes apart, there seems to be no premium on adrenaline rush here what with new concepts in racing being introduced. there's something for the pitstop babes too...a cool tool to deck up your car. lots of varitaions to give your ride 'da' look. Not heard anything about the music yet, but yeah this time round we have apparel brands chipping in with their line of clothing for the drivers...now thats snazzy!!! fashion street wear brand 55DSL is going to design for..come to think of it, YOU!! Emmanuelle Vaugier is the new face of NFS and from what google images had to offer, looks like eye candy is definitely not going to be in short supply. to give you a hint, Maxim puts her in the annual list of top 100 females.

Among the cars, i'm most excited about the murcielago (forget the spelling). after gliding on the gallardo in most wanted, (yeah...i live the experience) big bro here should be a dream. Rest of rides are the typical melange seen in NFS, but lots more R tweaks this time around.

Having just watched fast and the furious 3 - Tokyo drift, i'm itching to do the drift. Nothing beats drift in terms of satisfaction. the movie was a testimony to the class of drift racing and NFS Carbon promises to be the icing on the cake.

way to go EA...u guys rock!!

Omkara

at the end of the day, is too marvellous a movie to be summarized by a mere blog. this is how i'd like to start my post on this movie. i would hence share a few among many noteworthy features of the film which caught my imagination/attention.

As far as i am concerned, any director should feel successful in his endeavour of making a film, if he is able to transport his audience from their world to that in his/her film. With Omkara, my world for the whole 3 odd hours was the village and its people. It requires tremendous care for detail and originality to get an audience' mind to do that. Major credit here goes to the performance of the cast and the camera work

That a layman like me noticed the camera work and mulled over why a particular angle was chosen over another indicates some exceptional camerawork in Omkara. Some of the shots were refreshingly new.

Saif Ali Khan provides with yet another great performance and come to think of it, no one could have done it better than him. Ajay Devgan is his brilliant self as a serious, no nonsense man and Konkona sen adds meat to the cast in her supporting role.

Omkara will be a film remembered for its technical brilliance and for the power performance from a well selected cast

height of vote-bank politics

Two otherwise unrelated incidents that occurred over the weekend have caught my attention and it is a rather disturbing conclusion that arises when i compare them. One incident pertains to the rescue of 'Prince', a 6 year old boy who fell into a deep, narrow pit while playing, and spent over 50 hours there till he was pulled out safely. The other incident relates to the israeli bombing of lebanon which claimed the life of Devendra Kumar Swain, an indian working in a glass factory there. Seemingly unrelated news, until you get into the details, political details that is.

Firstly, i must say that it is shameful that it took 50 hours for the combined forces of the army and the fireforce to rescue a child from a 50 odd foot deep well.

The disgusting fact however is the way the issue has been dealt with. The Haryana govt announces a relief of Rs 2 Lakhs to Prince, the Central govt tops it with another 2 lakhs and then the Haryana govt ices the cake with Rs 50k each to the men who went down under to help the child. A TV channel goes as far as offering to sponsor his entire education.

At the other end of the spectrum, the bereaving family of Devendra Kumar, for which he was the sole breadwinner, for who's wife it will from here on be a considerable struggle to bring up their 2 small kids; for such a family is announced by the Govt. of Orissa, a pittance of Rs 25000. I actually saw it on T.V when the CM of Orissa, Mr. Naveen Patnaik announced this.

Why?

All because Prince happens to be an OBC and further still, a christian. Poor Devendra Saini's family will have to be content with next to zilch probably because they belong to the 'general' category, i'm not sure on that. But what i'm sure is that the Haryana Govt. displayed outrightl cheapness with this incident. Consider this too. The Haryana CM spends one whole day at the site where Prince was trapped in the hole. Ofcourse he is a poor child, but by rescuing it, i think the govt has served its responsibility to its citizens. Whatever else transpired is a clear case of votebank politics and diabolical at that.

This is why no one will no nation will take india seriously, as T V R shenoy rightly pointed out for similar other reasons. Votes come first here. then comes everything else. what a pity!

an accent on accent!

I think i have stumbled upon quite an interesting discovery. I repeat, I think! If there is one word in the colloquial English language that I despise a lot, it is the word 'anyways'. Its on the lips of everyone nowadays and has somehow become a 'hep' word (or is it 'hip' word?). Anyways, (see! its contagious !!) I was pretty sure that such a word does not exist in the English language; that is before we Indians started speaking English. Just to confirm, i checked to see if 'anyways' has a mention in any of the online dictionaries. Here's what i found in merriam websters online

anyways

One entry found for anyways.

Main Entry: any·ways
Pronunciation: -"wAz
Function: adverb
1 a archaic : ANYWISE b dialect : to any degree at all
2 chiefly dialect : ANYHOW, ANYWAY


'Aha' shouted my mind. Unfortunate as it is that it does exist, just look at the explanation therein. Knowing how dangerous accent and pronounciation can be, i'm convinced now that it was a case of 'anywise' sounding like 'anyways' that gave birth to this retard of a word (pun intended). I stand vindicated and hopefully will convert my 'anyways' toting circle of friends to 'anywise' uttering enlightened circle of friends. 'Ahem Ahem' to that, will aver my dear friend

helpless to help

i am walking down residency road towards brigade road, just out of crossword. i've just spent some quality time there and my mood is all upbeat. I'm bouncing down the pavement watching the world, singing to myself. Some distance ahead, i see a confused family looking quizzically in all directions. apparantly they are lost. My first reaction is to develop a desperate urge to help them in whichever way i can. But i can't just barge into them and suggest that i could probably give them directions. You never know how they will take it. Who knows they might not even be lost. So suppressing my altruism, i silently walk past them. wish they had imploringly looked at me. It would have been such a good feeling to be of help.

extreme bull...

I happened to watch an episode of AXN extreme dhamaka today. The way these guys hype up childish stunts, the television oscars should have a special prize instated and awarded to the AXN team behind extreme dhamaka. Oh! and a consolation prize should be given to the masterpices that they select to perform these stunts.

This particular episode featured a stunt wherein a person has to drive a bike through a burning bus. Sounds treacherous? well, i have to hand it to AXN to make a mockery of it. The setup consists of a bus' skeleton placed on an elevated platform. There is a ramp leading up to it and out of it, along the length of the bus. Basically, it is big enough to comfortably allow a maruti 800 to pass through it. The purported 'challenge' is to drive a hero honda karizma through it. utter bollocks considering that the rider is padded from head to toe in fireproof clothing, his hair is coated with fireproof gel and whatever little of his face is exposed is also coated with fireproof cream. the whole stunt in reality translates to drving a bike over a small bridge with ample side space to have two other bikes beside you.

Tania Zaetta is all nervous and our masterpiece has almost peed in his pants after seeing the burning skeleton of the bus. Pardon me for this slight deviation, but there is also a muscular puppet man who is supposed to be the co host with tania. All through the episode, he does not say one word..wonder if he's her bodyguard? Anyway our stuntman here manages to accomplish the stunt without even having to move a muscle, though in all probability he was already a vegetable while riding through it and unable to move a muscle even if he wanted to. I'm sure about this because as soon as he's back in front of the camera, he exults, "i did it" as if he just jumped of the Mt Everest without a parachute and lived to tell.

It would be interesting to follow what other challenges they have up their sleeves. For all you know, the next episode might require another masterpice to hmm...lemme think.....aah, forget it. They'll beat me hands down anyway, when it comes to conjuring hair raising 'challenges'

Tata Crucible 2006 - B'lore Zonals

Giri Balasubramaniam a.k.a 'Pickbrain' is a very good quizmaster. After an engrossing Tata crucible zonals, he comes across as an ideal blend of quizmaster qualities. His questions are pretty good, he doesn't forget his sponsors, but doesn't bloat about them, unlike some others i know ( b'lore quizzers will understand whom i'm referring to). He has a subtle way of putting across the sponsors and a good sense of humor. a very enjoyable quizmaster indeed. To top all this, he's got a top notch support team and the logistics are exceptionally immaculate, i'd say.

Now to talk about the quiz, the elims saw the last year all india champions, WYSE technologies, crashing out which was sad because i became quite a fan of them after watching them perform in illuminati-05, a local quiz conducted by concorde motors in association with ITM. In the finals of that, these guys were shown the logo of a company which had the shoot of a plant in a circle or square and they worked out the correct answer. Monsanto was the answer and i was damn impressed.

Moving on to the actual finals, we found a demolition man in a guy from Kotak mahindra who along with his teammate, at the end of the quiz, had 20 more points than the sum of the scores of all the other teams. Absolutely scintillating answers from him. believe me when i say that i got goosepimples on hearing some of his answers.

there were a lot of workable questions and that is the heart and soul of a quiz. A question is called good, if on hearing the answer you exclaim, "ohhh!". There were a lot of them today.

Overall, a nice quiz and a very good quizmaster. Except in terms of the display of genius, even better than Parnab Mukherjee...may u'r tribe increase

the i'm ok u're not ok types

as much as i hate to do it, i just have to crib about certain despicable qualities that i see in people around me. one is false prestige and the other is inflated ego....bah! whats the point? my write up is not going to change them. In turn it'll spoil the mood of the reader when there are so many nice things to write about.

i can understand moderate amounts of ego. its needed...but beyond a limit, abhorable...sad

An Ideal citizen's tragedy

I really want to be a good citizen and keep the city clean. But where are the public dustbins? I once, in an ideal citizen's frame of mind, carried a piece of paper all the way from museum road till M.G road and dropped it in a dustbin i found there. If you expect me to do that on a regular basis, don't you think its a little too much to ask?
So before falling for "keep you city clean" hoardings, try to keep a track of dustbins in your locality.
If one fine day, your ideal citizen conscience pricks you, you can atleast walk confidently to the nearest dustbin and deposit your itch.

Road Rage in India

One of the headlines on rediff, today, proclaims "indians are road ragers without sense". Its true, but nobody has, or rather has tried to, get the right perspective. A very simple example. Say,you have 2 bottles each with you and say you fill one with 5 ball bearings and the other with 50. Now, if you shake the bottle, which bottle do you think will make more noise?
I noticed the same argument in a different context, ala Karan thapar's show on some news channel. Herein they were debating on mumbai's newly acquired tag, " rudest city in India". while listening to the teleconferencing panelists, i quite liked what rahul bose had to say. He said in not the same words, " Yes! its difficult to drive on Indian roads. But look at the traffic. Accidents happen because there is no place to drive. Compare this with L.A where many people die due to actual road rage. Empty roads and overspeeding cars with no regard for pedestrians. Thats road rage". That was my interpretation as should be anyone's. The point, however, is that road rage is primarily a function of the traffic and secondarily of road manners.

hand to pocket existence

Yesterday I accompanied a friend to the local police station for passport verification. We found the concerned person at his seat and my friend proceeded to get the paper work done. With some time to kill, I thought of spending it observing the surroundings. This is something i like to do very much. It was just another police station in every respect, but what caught my eye was interesting. It was a sign affixed above the doorway and it read " No fee for passport verification ". I couldn't help let out a chuckle, after reading it, knowing how farcical that sign is in the indian context. However, hoping for a miraculous exception, i continued my gaze around the place. I saw antiquated rifles in the guards hand which am sure have not been oiled in years and in case of an emergency will at most serve the purpose of a heavy rod. More antiquated though were the policemen themselves. Invariably pot-bellied and proud of it, they walked around the place with an air of importance, which had more to do with their backward s leaning stanze, thanks to the paunch!
Anyway, my friend was done with the work and just to gift wrap the session, i casually asked the person, " Is there anything else?". Prompt comes the matter of fact reply, " Processing charges ". Although it was expected and unavoidable, i decide to try my luck and bring his attention to the sign. The statement that followed was very interesting one. He replies with a smile, " that way, even cigarette packs have a statutory warning printed on them saying Cigarette smoking is injurious to health. But does that stop people from smoking ?". Realising the futility in debating, we proceed to the bargaining stage. We asked him bluntly, "how much". He replies bluntly, "Rs 200". Finally we give him Rs 100 and get going. Between Rs 200 and Rs 100, transpired a lecture on middlemen and how we are depriving one hand of food while feeding the other.
Good philosophy, wrong audience, what more can i say?

Quotable Quotes

I've found a new hobby in Quote collection. Kinda hard pressed for time, so here's one for you to chew on.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man"
- George Bernard Shaw

Hey God! i'm a believer!

Its about 10 in the night and i'm sitting at home watching my roommate idle away on the laptop. i've just returned after dinner and am thinking about my next activiy. That is when i feel like talking to my sister ( she's 6 yrs elder to me, married and settled in chennai) I pick my cell, flop onto the bed and give her a ring. In my family we have a unique way of greeting each other, which is my mom's creation. so we both went **** with a chuckle each. "So you remembered now, huh", she exclaims. Tactless taurean that i am, i bluntly reply, "remember what". Just as she starts with "well...", it suddenly dawns on me that today is the 12th of may, my only sister's birthday!! Now, you don't keep birthday reminders for your sister and mother, doesn't make sense. So if u're absent minded like i am, you end up forgetting and i just did. As is expected i start, " Oh! how cud i...". I sheepishly wish her, she laughs it off and we delve into the details of her day. In between i also speak to her 7 month old bundle of joy, whom i hear from her is getting more irreprissible with each passing second. After he advocates his stand with "ga goo yumm geee", we talk for some more time and hang up.

Though i was sad that i'd missed her birthday, i was very happy for another thing. Something that i hope she realizes and if she does, would be the best birthday gift she's ever got from me. Its the fact that, when i called her now, it was because i felt like talking to her. When you're very close to one another, things are taken for granted and i don't usually call my sis without reason. But this was different and i loved myself for it. I thank that superior power which compelled me to call up. hey god, i'm a believer!!

the power of dreams

I'm sure many of you have had this dream. You are walking down a path all alone. Its pitch dark all around. You are feeling a little creepy and prayers are slowly developing on your lips. You don't know where you are, what you're doing there, nothing at all, for that matter and all of a sudden someone holds your shoulder from behind. Instantaneously you scream and wake up, sit up straight in bed, and still in a dazed state realize that it was just a dream. Your breath returns and you're normal. You breath a sigh of relief and go back to sleep hoping that you sleep peacefully.

Now analyse this. You got scared because something unexpected happened in the dream, your dream, something that your imagination created. Don't you find it spooky that you were surprised at your own creation, something that your mind meticulously planned and you didn't even realize? Chew on that and let me know what you think!

orkut profile views

Orkut has added a new feature called profile views. People have immediately taken a typical stand on it. " i want to know who all visited my profile, but i don't want others to know that i visited theirs". I think thats not a fair thought. to win some, you gotta lose some. Infact i find this 'profile view' thingie to be neat in many ways. As a s/e, i can't help first mention backward compatibility, sorry abt that. i mean, if u want things to remain the way they were, just turn the feature 'off'; simple. Now coming to when the feature is 'on', i think its a nice feeling to know who all visited your profile. that i guess, everyone agrees upon. that, others will come to know that you visited their profile, is also a nice thing according to me. You can actually make a statement without typing a word. How many times have you had to stupidly say 'hi' to someone, just to keep in touch?
Finally, here's a workaround for those of you who want to have the cake and eat it too. when u're overcome by the orkut profile browsing syndrome, turn off the profile view feature and go about u'r activities. once you're done, turn it back on. you sure can afford to miss whover visited your profile in the meantime. deal?

I beg to differ!

I've been seeing a lot of write ups and forwards on commonly used illogical statements. There are plenty of them and i honestly find many of them, to be logical enough, to be pardoned the brickbat. This post draws inspiration from a post which i came across while surfing through blogs. I diplomatically apologize for copyright violations, if any; here's what this person had to say.

"Ok...this is not something entirely orginal. But i saw a similar forward which got me thinking. What are the things that I find irritating? This is what I ended up with. Not necessarily a wholesome list, but just the things on top of my mind

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. This one just came into my mind, since its my birthday in another hour.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid a 100 bucks(yup surat is damn expensive) to come to the theatre and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it couldn't be new.

8. When you are waiting for the bus (not in surat, but in hyderabad) and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

9. When they say, "Hey, what's up?". Its always the ceiling or the blue sky idiot.

Am pretty sure everyone of us has had a similar feeling sometime or other, but then why dont we stop saying such stupid stuff? "




i beg to differ as follows:

1) to counter morons who never hear anything the first time. point at the wrist and they get the point. time saved, effort saved!

2)ok, went to the T.V and changed the channel once, twice, thrice...then?

3)forget the logic, its a highly inappropriate phrase. If u have friends who say so, i pity you!

4)if timed correctly, there wouldn't be any plausible place left to search under normal circumstances, when said so.

5)i partially agree...but then, in a hypothetical scene from a hypothetical movie, would you notice the nameboard on a beach if mallika sherawat is in the vicinity in a 2 piece?

6) a genuine paradox..bingo!!

7)advertising has its own sense of logic (mind recall tactics, i'd say)..nevertheless, to argue, new needn't necessarily be improved!

8)very valid...my regards to the masterpieces who coined such phrases.

9)welcome to Americanese! its not even english in the first place!

B.R Hills trip

I'd initially thought that i'd skip the description of my trip to B.R Hills, and put the blame on Mr.Procrastination. But, just realised that i have a lot of time to kill ( at 12:25 A.M..god save me!), so here goes.

We started out soon after i put in my previous post. Early mornings are rare occasions in my life. Hence there was more excitement. The journey was to be made on bikes and both man and machine were all set. A chilly,fast and uneventful drive later we were on B.R Hills, short for Beligere Ranganatha Hills. Beligere is the place name and Ranganatha(perumal) is the presiding deity in the major temple out there. The hill side is densely forested and under protection. The biggest draw to B.R Hills is the chance of spotting wild animals in their natural habitat while travelling through the jungle roads. For that u need to get permission from the concerened authorities there who will then provide you with an armed guide and options of a safari through the jungle. Unfortunate as we were, we landed at a time when they were not giving permissions, due to reasons which didn't matter to us. So we had to be content with driving along the main road, admiring the occasional plump of elephant dung. Well, not so bad! we saw deer, peacock, a few new bird species, wild boars and some monkeys. Not the menagerie that one would expect. Nevertheless!

At dusk, we paid a visit to the temple i'd mentioned before and we were right in time for 'deeparadhana', which is a ritual performed in temples all over south (AFAIK) wherein the sanctum sanctorum is closed for a session of puja while temple musicians play typical instruments which mainly include variants of the chenda(drum). Once the puja is done the doors are swung open and the waiting devotees are treated to the 'darshan' of the deity decorated by a lot of lamps. Every such experience has invariably been very spiritual for me and this was no different. After we were done with our prayers, we all sat at the footsteps of the temple for a while looking out at the expanse below, lit up by scores of bulbs. The temple was atop a hillock and the view, even at night was very nice.

We had rented a dormitory for the night, but slept on the terrace in our sleeping bags. It was special, because we were at a high altitude and the sky was amazingly clear. Some 'gyaan' on the various constellations later, everybody had a peaceful sleep.

Early morning next day, few of us ventured out for a walk and got fresh. We started out soon towards b'lore, contemplating a course of action, as Mr. Permission had left us with a lot of time. Little did we know then, that the best part of the journey was yet to come!

While travelling the day before towards B.R Hills, we had covered the shiv samudram hydel project (estd. 1901, india's first). Nothing much to see there though. On continuing from there, we'd seen an inviting reservoir of water, but no access to it. We were hoping to find a water body nearby while returning from B.R Hills.

Between Bangalore and B.R Hills, the major places are Maddur and kollegal. Some distance down from kollegal to bangalore, we took a turn which promised to lead us to a waterfall. Boy! that was a promise well kept! One of the best waterfalls i've ever seen with respect to being able to safely play in it. We were there at noon and the heat made the water all the more inviting. Without undue haste all of us were in the water. The moment i hit the water, i was a possessed man and thenceforth my actions were determined by the challenges that the waterfall could pose to me. A few hours in the water later, we were back on our vehicles towards bangalore. We stopped for lunch at some restaurant on the way and that was when i first realised that i hadn't taken breakfast. Talk of being possessed!

Its not over yet. Sumptuous lunch later, it was the turn of the bikers to be possessed. When i say that the average speed was between 95 and 100 km/hr, i mean every pixel in it. The surroundings were mostly a blur as we zipped past honda cities, mercs(yes, one bike did!) and the sundry. A terrific journey later, we were welcomed by our first redlight and with that the bangalore city traffic engulfed us into its chaos.

We were back to normal life.

BR Hills, here i come!

its early morning 5:00 and i'm writing this while simultaneously battling battle cries from friends to get ready to move out. we 're about to embark on a road trip to BR hills! all i know is its a wild forest. So if i don't end up as sumptuous dinner for leopards ( tasty that i am!), u'll hear more from me on monday. ciao!

footnotes in the book of life

Have you ever observed how music serves as footnotes in your life? You're idling your time in front of the television, switching channels; you unexpectedly hear a long lost tune and it immediately throws you back in time ...to a place, different; ...to a time, nostalgic. As the music catches on and the lyrics seem to appear onto your lips from nowhere, your mind is flooded with events and thoughts that belong to a different time, that probably defined a different you then, and you think; ...you think about your life, begin to recollect how you were then and what you are now. Mostly you'll observe the good changes and that will make you happy and proud of yourself. But at times, you'll stumble upon the mistakes you made then, and you'll now resolve to take corrective measures.
It all happens in there. You chance upon a peppy number from the past and all the good times flood in; the song that epitomized the party atmosphere during college days, the one that was the mainstay during dance competitions when you forgot everything else and jumped around, even though you couldn't dance to save your life.
A soulful melody reminds you of your private moments; the times when,cuddled under the blanket in winter, with the same song serenading the silence of the night, you introspected and thought about your future, or about your family, friends.
Music livens up your past.It opens different chapters from your past, depending on the song or tune; some good some not so good, but nevertheless, very nostalgic.

Of fragile egos and flayed tempers

I recently had the opportunity to be the only dedicated witness to a 'middle-of-the-road' fight. That the driver of the vehicle i was in, was in the fight, didn't offer me much choice is hmm..come to think of it,a half-truth..more on that later.
So it happened one night that i hitched a ride on a cab. For the benefit of non-bangloreans, company cabs are another mode of transport here. They do official pick ups and drops for the concerned company, but take passengers for a fare on return trips. You pay them nominally (its investment free income for them) and they drop u wherever, as long as its on their route.
Hmm..so i was on a sumo at abt 10:30 in the night and travelling towards BTM layout. There was minimal traffic on the road and we were doing well, until we encountered a motorcyclist 'snaking' down the road. As we neared him, it appeared obvious, that he was drunk and not in much control of his bike. To avoid anything untoward, the sumo driver honks before going past him. Our man on the bike is not pleased and utters some pleasantries while we cross over. Not to be outdone, my guy returns the courtesy. Unfortunately, we reach a red light (silk board junction) and the biker promptly parks his vehicle across, in front of the sumo. A middle aged, shabby looking man, he looked perfect to get into a fight, he more than lived upto the expectation.
By now, the sumo driver is also out of the vehicle and the word duel has started,unfortunately for me though, in kannada. So I had to be content with the hysterical gestures and decibel level variations for entertainment. We missed the next green light, i feared for worse. So far the biker seemed to have the upper hand in the 'wordwar'. At the next red, luckily, a police car pulls up beside us. Peace seems to be restored as the biker reluctantly begins to move his bike. After all, he's totally at fault here, because the premise for the fight was, "how dare you honk from behind and disturb me!". Alas, our driver, feeling emboldened by the cop presence, starts releasing all his frustration. Idiot doesn't realize that the light is about to turn green. It promptly does, the police car leaves the scene and our sophisticated biker brings back his bike to position. Man! am i getting mad. Through all this, i have the option of leaving the vehicle and walking the remaining 1.5 kms home. Still, i stayed put.
Now both parties seem equally poised in the war. Things were escalating and I was expecting the first blow to land any moment now. But, surprisingly, it never did. It was all abt threats and phone call attempts. Our man, the biker, at one point starts to unzip to show his manhood, probably in a desperate attempt to reinforce his manliness. Fortunately, he stopped just short of displaying it. I wonder, what effect it would have had on the situation. Anyway, both of them then get busy, presumably trying to call their pally big shots. Nothing much happens on that front though. The fight goes on for a few more minutes after that and stops when both of them run out of expletives. The biker goes his way, the sumo its, but not before the biker brandishes a paper with the sumo's license no: and the sumo driver gives him an 'as if i care' look. Peace!

What do i say about people who do not carry a pen on their person while at work?

I thought it was a given until i realised to the contrary, and rather irritatingly at that, when i failed to get one from any of my colleagues nearby, when ran out of ink. I find it thought provoking, that people do not find having a pen very useful, because they sure do remember to carry their combs,cigarettes, gutkas and whatever things. Is it coz, its more convenient to borrow one when needed? Or is it coz it will be borrowed if u keep one? beats me!

Brand Equity FARCE 2006

Parnab Mukherji once replied, " Derek O' Brien? he's excellent for class 6 quizzing ". I was taken aback then, but, couldn't agree more after attending the b'lore leg of the Brand Equity Quiz -06. Absolutely trash questions interspersed with perverted jokes and obscene slides and downright PJs...thats BEQ-06 in a nutshell. When the top team to qualify in a prelim round scores 23 out of 30, u can gauge the level of questions. Morover, when u find that the National Champions of the Tata Crucible and a few other prominent teams did not even make it to the final round, it too says something about the standard of the quiz. Had i participated as a 12th grader in y'day's quiz, i would have easily managed to qualify. An example..the magazine ad of which company reads "find the dog". the first answer that popped into my mind was HMV. But quizzing at this level is all about working out. I kept HMV aside and thought. Hutch advertises with the ubiquitous pug. It would be logical for Airtel to have a go at them. Had i been a participant, i would have decided on Airtel over HMV. the answer was HMV. Another one. During the Californian gold rush, who was called the 'cowboy's tailor'? Mind you, there are teams here who can narrate the entire life story of Levi Strauss backwards and you give them such a question. Unless u're used to derek's brand of quizzing, u would be forced to think twice and thats what they must have probably done to get a wrong answer. Amidst all this nonsense, if it weren't enough, our man was dressed in army camouflages and displaying a mighty sorry sense of humour.General rumdi from ruski institute of ....disastrous interpretations.........God! get a life dude.Quizzing is not visual entertainment. Its cerebral entertainment.If u want to be a joker, join a circus. Leave quizzing to the sane

Hum Log - serious musings

saw Rang De Basanti tonight. comments on that can wait, though. Before that, i want to express the thoughts i had while pondering over the movie. what we see and know and what is depicted is a situation of extremes. At one extreme, there is a constant lament on the state of affairs of the country and at the other, we see, and in movies alone, people going all out for their country. Just as bad it is to keep cribbing about our country while doing nothing about it, equally impractical it is to do what is shown in the movies. What i'd like to share is something i feel can be done by one and all effortlessly.
what struck me as unnerving is the level of cynicism in our society. even my mom had the standard comment after watching the movie, " nothing is going to change". by saying so we're killing an idea rightaway. Its our defense strategy. If u can't do something, label it impossible. When everyone thinks like that, we have india as of today.I myself have been a cynic throughout my life. But i have started changing. I ask you to change too. I think it can make a big diference to our society. Try to respond positively to everything that you see around you. If you don't find it at frst sight, look for it. everything has a positive side to it. I know from experience. Only the staunchly resolute can self-motivate them. For the others, a simple word of encouragement or a gentle help can do wonders. I think that there are many people amongst us who wish to do good for the country but lack the initiative. After all, you don't want to fall flat on your face trying. Life is also about being practical.
so in the end, its a very simple thing to do. Just be positive to whatever you see and hear. Who knows, the friend you encourage today may actually do something really great which otherwise may not have materialized.











what india needs is not a set of great people at the helm of affairs, but an entire population of good citizens. The rank of an ideal citizen is a difficult one to achieve and hence it can take time.

Mario Puzo syndrome

i experienced a classic case of the mario puzo syndrome while reading the tipping point, by malcolm gladwell. before that i'd read Blink, which was actually his 2nd book, so that, most people have read tipping point first...I liked what i read in blink, but the person i borrowed tipping point from vehemently maintained that blink is crap and nothing compared to the tipping point. well!, i felt otherwise..whle blink was an interesting read throughout, tipping point started of nicely but the middle pages featuring sesame street were such a drag..the ideas seemed to be a tweaked version of those in blink....probably the others felt the same for blink after reading tipping point first...even so, i must admit that tipping point does overcome the syndrome at times..surely blink would do too!...
...apart from the concepts presented, the most striking thought that came across my mind was the amount of time spent and dedication showed by the researchers mentioned in both the books..we had guys sending letters to over 500 people, people doing tests on hundreds of children individually and what not...i admire their conviction.